Homage to Condiment Kid
by JayceSnape
Summary: Four Americans transfer to Hogwarts in Harry's third year. What havoc will these spastic klutz's condemn the old castle to?


Americans in Hogwarts

Disclaimer: I dun own Harry Potter charas. Mauri owns herself and I own myself. Other than the soap trick (hehe) I own nothing else. Dun sue the half mesican girlies.

Ch. 1

"Have you heard? There's four Americans that transferred here," Lavender gossiped as she walked past the compartment. Harry stuck his head out and listened for a second.

"Yeah, but I hear they're a little off. And that they've already been sorted. They had to come during the summer because there was a big mess at the ministry about them coming here," gushed Parvati. Harry ducked back into the compartment and looked at Hermione and Ron.

"What do you think?"

"I think they're lying. Even if there were transfers, they'd be here by no-"

"You almost killed us three times! I drive better than you and I don't have a license"

"Well the taxi driver shouldn't have let me drive then!"

"We're in Europe, you forget, they drive on the WRONG side of the frickin street, freak!"

The compartment door slid open to reveal three flustered girls and a calm boy, about the same age as Harry, Ron, and Hermione. The girl who had black hair with fading red streaks glanced at Harry.

"D'yall mind if we sit here? There's no more room anywhere else."

"Well, there would have been room if you hadn't talked the taxi driver into letting you drive, getting us lost, and nearly getting us killed," responded the girl with black-purple hair with a grin. Before Harry had a chance to invite them in, she noticed Ron in the corner. "Oh. Hi. I'm Mauri McLandon. And… you are?" she said flirtatiously. Hermione glared at her as the girl who first spoke shook her head.

"Mauri, where are your manners? They haven't even said if we COULD sit here, dork."

"I left them in America. Where are yours?" Harry smiled at the bantering.

The girl with deep maroon hair rolled her eyes at Mauri. "I'm Raine Stokley. Nice to meet you."

The boy grinned at the two girls still bickering. "I'm Dylan Thomas. I'm the only sane one of us."

"You're welcome to sit here if you like. I'm Harry Potter, that's Ron Weasley, and that's Hermione Granger."

"O wow, that's an awesome name! I've never heard it before!"

"Mauri, chill. How many times do I hafta tell ya? Don't scare the normal people. I'm Nikkolai Talon by the way. Most people call me Nikki or Kai."

"Nice to meet you." For a second, everything got quiet. No one made a sound. Suddenly, Kai nodded.

"Yup. Someone's thinkin' about Merlin." Hermione gave her an odd look, while Raine laughed.

"Guilty!" Mauri raised her hand in shame.

"Huh?"

"When there's a silence, it's because someone is thinking about Merlin. Well, in the US it's someone is thinking about President Lincoln, but that wouldn't work here would it?"

"Ooh, I hear the snack 'trolley'. Let's go chase it down, Kai!"

"Like condiment kid?"

"Yeah!" The transfers ran out of the compartment. Harry shook his head.

"Well, that's Americans for you." Kai stuck her head back in.

"How wude!"

The second they were really gone, Ron sighed.

"So… what do you guys think?"

Harry shrugged and said, "I don't know. They're alright I guess." Hermione nodded in agreement and added, "Though I'll have to get used to Mauri."

"I liked her alright," Ron argued.

Hermione rolled her eyes and said under her breath, "You would."

"Well Nikki seemed cool," Harry said, hoping to distract them. It worked. "And Dylan DOES appear to be the sane one

"Yes, they seemed calmer than Mauri."

"She seems like fun," Ron defended her.

"I think Raine is pretty funny," Harry interrupted again. Hermione nodded in agreement.

The compartment doors opened and they all looked up, expecting to see the American girls. Instead, Fred and George walked in.

"Did you hear the rumor? There's four Americans that-"

"Yeah we know. They were here a little while ago," Ron smirked at the twins. The twins looked at him and rolled their eyes.

"No they weren't." From behind them, a female voice responded.

"Who wasn't whut?"

"Jeez Kai, you're such a hick."

"No'm not!"

"Are too."

"Are not!"

"Are too."

"No, you are." Fred and George turned to see the people who were arguing about who was a hick and who wasn't.


End file.
